I have been neglecting this blog over the last couple of months. I could say that I've been busy but, honestly, I haven't been any busier than I normally am. I could say that I've had little to write about but that would be about as far from the truth as you could get. No, I have started and stopped many a blog post over the last several weeks, afraid of getting too personal, afraid of alienating some of my non-family/friend followers, not knowing how to say all the things I wanted to say...
Recently, though, I've been feeling like a dam about to burst. I have so many ideas, opinions, images, and words - oh so many words - filling up my brain that I'm beginning to leak poetry while I'm driving, blog posts in my dreams, and ideas for a book I want to write in the bathtub...
It's too much! I have too much to say and not enough time to write it all down while it still feels relevant and timely. For instance, it's a bit late to finish my post about the December holidays or, worse yet, my unfinished post about my Thanksgiving dreams. So much of what I say here, I feel needs the background of other posts I might or might not have time to write. So, today, at least, I will provide a brief and disjointed update and, perhaps, a preview or two in the hopes of draining this lake of ideas just enough to avoid a violent flood:
My life has been tumultuous of late. It began in late Fall and I've been on a roller coaster of pain and joy, hope and despair, ever since. Without getting into too much detail: Things are Changing. I'm not even sure what all the changes will turn out to be but I know they will be hard (their foreshadowing already is) and they will be BIG. I am both afraid of the losses that will come with these changes and excited to find out what this great unknown ahead of me has in store. All I know right now is that I'm ready to jump in (though I might still be clinging to my parachute on the way down).
One of the changes that I feel comfortable talking about at this point is that I have decided not to homeschool the J-Rex next year. I plan to share my reasons for this and my plan in a separate blog post to come soon but, suffice it to say that, while I am both terrified and incredibly hopeful for this turn of events, I am at least certain that it is the best thing for the J-Rex (and for me) at this time.
Another change that is coming about - one inspired by a multitude of seemingly unrelated recent occurrences - is that I am going to be working on the pursuit of several dreams I once deemed myself unworthy of having. One of these is my writing...not the personal, almost diary-like outpouring that ends up on this blog, though. No, I love blogging because it is an excellent outlet and is helping me develop the habits of a writer but I want to do more...take my writing to the next level...become the writer* I've always been afraid I wasn't good enough to be...
The writing practice alone will be an enormous time-sink (albeit one of the most worthwhile of time-sinks a compulsive writer like me could have) and it is not the only dream I am pursuing at the moment. As a result, expect to see a bit of a down-tick in posts on this blog after this initial flurry to keep the dam from bursting over here. Perhaps you will even hear tell at some point in the near future of a new site that that will reveal tidbits of these other things I'm working on as well. Until then, though, wish me luck!
* I always feel the need to clarify the type of writer I want to be, as everyone tends to assume when a person talks about writing that they are referring to fiction-writing: I am, at heart, an essayist who wants to transform herself into a writer of creative non-fiction, with a particular interest in Sociology and Science.
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