Overdue Like a Library Book

I am overdue. I am overdue for so many things I have in my head that I need to write, overdue for time spent with friends and loved ones, overdue for the unpleasant tasks that are building up on my to-do list. There is a build-up of pressure and of procrastination as a result of these things, both of which create a cycle within me of stress and overwhelm.

I know exactly how I should handle this stress in a positive and healthy manner: I should start getting things done, one small step at a time. I should make time for my meditation and yoga again (my poor, neglected yoga practice is felt in the recently renewed aches I feel in bone and muscle throughout an unreasonably tired body). I should read. I should write, even if all I'm writing is a dairy entry to be shared with no one but myself.


Instead, I find myself doing what so many in our ADD technology and social media

driven modern society do: I scroll through my Facebook feed desperately seeking something...a connection...a justification for my distraction...an inspiration to do something else...and rarely finding more than a momentary, virtual, not-fully-real bandaid to place on the gaping wound of my distraction.  I send out feelers, trying to make new connections and desperately seeking attention and external validation when what I truly need is my own approval.

I scroll through Pinterest and come up with more things I'd rather be doing with my time than...wait for it...scrolling through yet another social media site.  Then, I find myself berating my preference of the plan over the action, the pretty picture pinned to my board instead of the messy experiment I'd be left with, should I follow through with any of the ideas I bookmark.

I read, yes, but I read articles I'm barely interested in because they appeared on a social media feed, status updates that mean little without knowing the person posting them in a live-action context, and the skimmed introductions to books on my Kindle.  I play the role of the perpetual newb, always avoiding the same deep understandings and experiences that would be a healing salve to my stressed-out life.

I seem to friends like an Energizer Bunny, always moving. Honestly, I am a bit like that bunny, always moving, never staying in one place long enough to settle in...just going, going, going, wearing my battery out along the way.

I need to recharge. I need to replenish the Self. I have no need to hermit myself to do this - in fact, a certain level of busy is quite healthy for me.  What I need...is to use technology in a healthy way, to communicate and learn about new things but not to procrastinate and avoid the things I know will bring me back into my normal, happy, lively self.

I need to do what I'm doing right now: putting aside the social media to write my thoughts down, to process, and to share. Sure, I'll be back on my feeds as soon as I publish this post to promote - that's one of the huge benefits of being active on social media for any internet writer.  Because of that and the personal benefits of being able to maintain contact with a large group of wonderful people I call my family and friends, I will stay active...just maybe not so active...maybe only with purpose from now on...

No more idle scrolling, wasting untold hours of potential productivity.  No more preference of imagining over doing. A balance must be found. Technology is great - it provides us with a connectedness we've never had before - but, as with anything, it should be used in moderation...without replacing the real with the virtual, without letting the distraction make me so unnecessarily overdue...